So, yet another blog that i hope i will keep up to date! Uuh where to start, well today being my only day off a week, has been both distressing and relaxing. I slept in until Noon ad awake with two furballs, one nestled into my back, and the other into the side of my neck, after stretching and choking up the odd furball i decided to get a move on and actually do something!
My Mother kindly gave me money to keep me going until pay day ... but you know how cravings kick in and your head and stomach just say CHIPPY CHIPPY CHIPPY!!!! I heard the school bell ringing from down the street so i though ITS NOW OR NEVER! i sprinted to the Chippy and ordered Pizza n chips n some Barr Cola.... tasty at the time... but by the time i had to leave the flat to go out again i felt like i wanted to just die! I never seem to learn that every time i eat at the chippy round from mine i feel ill EVERY time.
I got a random text from my mum saying " i ate bacon for the first time in 10 years" , ya see, my mum is one of those very loyal vegetarians but likes tuna... lol she has been very ill lately and i think the doctor just turned round to her and said GET SOME MEAT IN YE! ( for all you cheeky and dirty minded buggers shame on you - but yeah i find it funny too :P) so it is my duty every sunday that i have brekkie with my mum to force feed her bacon.... hpefully she wont be as ill with some good ol' piggie in her system!
So i went to Dykebar hospital and as per usual i was early, but i noticed the curcle of chairs in the group was smaller, yet another person had bailed out of the therpay group thinking it wasnt working for them... Another person was missing from the group who we shall call Mr X ( due to a privacy contract we cant use real names) . Mr X had turned up at the hospital two hours previously to explain that him and his wife were splitting up and he couldnt face the group, the thing with Mr X is...he gets urges to just end it all... not unlike myself but his urges are stronger. I am extremely concerned for his children and it actually made me break down , i havnt broken down like that in a while. Because of my past which in all honesty i dont want to get into too much it brought me back to being a child and i didnt like it. the therapists were actually happy to see me emoting and not just blocking it all out.
At some point this week i will be meeting Ronnie and giving him a cookie, the cookie will have in lovely icing lettering " You're Dumped xxxx" funny thing is it is a co decision and we both came up with the idea. ... so to anyone feeling gutted you got dumped by text message... just think... it could have been a cookie. My therapists are a little confused as to why i am not actually caring so much about ronnie and i ending our relationship. I explained to them it was a mutual ting and we were better as friends to be honest. My previous relationship i was gutted about because i wasnt sure exactly what i had done wrong... My ex just told me he wanted a break and then didnt talk to me... i had my suspicions that it was another girl but he was too much of a coward to admit it.. and now he is dating the chick... who is a barmaid... i wonder how long it will last though. but if it goes well, then fair enough but he is dissing one of his mates... and i dont like him doing that ... just because im friends with his mate too doesnt mean he has to avoid him!
i dont know... last monday i was at greenday and well alot of old feelings came back...which reminds me Hi Ray x
